Prime Minister Anthony Albanese spent his Wednesday passionately defending his government's budget changes to negative gearing and capital gains tax, while also reminding everyone that he owns a $4.3 million property on the central coast that he bought while living in the Lodge. Because nothing says 'relatable working class hero' like a taxpayer-funded mansion and a beach house.
Albanese got particularly animated when discussing aspiration, claiming Labor wants the next generation to be better off than they are. This quickly devolved into a screaming match with Angus Taylor and Tim Wilson, which the Speaker deemed 'completely unacceptable.' The PM then took the opportunity to describe the opposition as 'reduced to a farce,' comparing their leadership ballot to a choice between Tony Abbott and Alexander Downer. Dan Tehan and Simon Kennedy protested, but Albanese had already finished his answer, which is probably for the best.
Meanwhile, One Nation Senator Malcolm Roberts caused further confusion by clarifying that he thinks calling the Bondi Beach antisemitic terror attack a 'false flag' is 'an absurd proposition,' but he refuses to rule it out because he doesn't have 'data.' When pressed, he blamed the interviewer for being 'very naive and very young, very inexperienced.' Pauline Hanson stepped in to defend her colleague, claiming he'd been taken out of context - a context where he suggested he couldn't disprove a conspiracy theory.
In other news, the Greens have launched a Senate inquiry into datacentres, because apparently we need to make sure AI doesn't drink all our water and use all our electricity before we let it take our jobs. Senator Sarah Hanson-Young warned that we 'cannot repeat the mistakes that were made in failing to regulate social media platforms before they got too big,' which is rich coming from a party that still hasn't figured out how to regulate its own internal factions.
The Commonwealth Bank's share price fell 10% today, wiping $29.7 billion off its market value, as investors panicked that the budget's tax reforms might actually reduce the profitability of their lucrative investor home loans. UBS analyst John Storey noted that CBA had 'ramped up its investment mortgage book' in the last four years, which is a polite way of saying they bet heavily on property speculators and lost. The other big banks also slid, with Westpac down 1.4%, ANZ down 0.85%, and NAB down 0.62%. The broader ASX200 fell 0.53%, because misery loves company.
In a completely unrelated development, the SBS board appointed marketing executive Jane Palfreyman as managing director for a five-year term. Palfreyman, who has worked at SBS for 13 years, said she cares 'deeply about SBS, its purpose and the role it plays in Australia’s pluralistic society,' which is exactly what you'd expect someone to say when they just got promoted to the top job.
Finally, Queensland MP Robbie Katter is trying again to ban abortion by moving a motion that would reverse a regulation allowing nurses and midwives to prescribe the abortion drug MS-2 Step. The motion is not expected to pass, but it will give potential turncoats another chance to cross the floor and make headlines. Because nothing says 'pro-life' like wasting parliamentary time on symbolic gestures.