President Trump confirmed Friday that he will no longer attend the University of Georgia vs. University of Alabama football game in Tuscaloosa, citing Hurricane Isaias, because even the commander-in-chief respects the universal rule that you don't sit through a football game in a hurricane unless your team is undefeated. He still plans to travel to Tennessee for a midterm rally, because some commitments are weatherproof.

"I will go to Tennessee, where we have quickly called a Big Rally in order to get our fantastic Congressional Candidates, our Great Senator, Bill Hagerty, and a woman who will go down as one of the most impactful Governors in the State's History, Marsha Blackburn, elected!" Trump wrote Friday on Truth Social, deploying his signature capitalization strategy of treating adjectives like they're running for office too.

The rally is expected to take place Saturday at 3:30 p.m. in Clarksville, Tenn., coming just weeks after he attended the Texas-Tennessee college football game in Knoxville. Trump also has upcoming rallies in Ohio and Alaska, because apparently the only thing he's more committed to than golf is standing in front of large crowds in states with unpredictable weather.

Also on Friday, before traveling to a rally in Syracuse, N.Y., Trump gave reporters mixed signals on whether Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan's December execution will actually be livestreamed. Because nothing says "modern governance" like live-streaming a firing squad and calling it a day.

"Well, they're making a determination about that, but he will be killed, it will be through firing squad," Trump told reporters. "He killed 13, 14 people, badly wounded 20-some-odd people and he's totally nuts." That's the kind of precise legal analysis that really reassures everyone about the justice system.

Vice President Vance and lawmakers on both sides of the aisle continue to knock the event and say they will not be participating if a livestream were to take place. So to recap: bipartisan agreement exists on exactly one thing, and it's that nobody wants to watch an execution on pay-per-view. Truly, a unifying moment for our nation.