The Trump administration has officially moved to reclassify marijuana from a Schedule I to a Schedule III drug, a full four months after Donald Trump signed an executive order demanding exactly that. Better late than never, unless you're the guy currently incarcerated for possessing what is now technically a less scary substance.
Schedule I, for those keeping score at home, was the federal "this stuff is basically heroin" category, lumping marijuana in with LSD, MDMA, and synthetic opioids. Schedule III, by contrast, puts it in the cozy company of ketamine, anabolic steroids, and testosterone. So, less "gateway to hell" and more "gym bro's weekend regimen."
Trump's acting attorney general, Todd Blanche, signed the order on Thursday and took to X to declare the Department of Justice was "delivering on President Trump's promise to improve American healthcare." The post promised more research into marijuana's safety and efficacy, which is a bit like promising to study whether water is wet after you've already been drinking it for years.
This move comes just days after Trump signed an executive order to speed up the review of psychedelic drugs, including ibogaine - a substance found in a West African shrub that also sits in the top category of illegal drugs. At that signing, Trump complained that federal officials were "slow-walking" the marijuana rescheduling process, which is rich considering it took four months to do what he asked.
"You're going to get the rescheduling done, right, please?" Trump pleaded to off-camera officials. "You know, they're slow-walking me on rescheduling. You're going to get it done, right?" One imagines officials nodding nervously while hiding the paperwork under a stack of other executive orders.
Before anyone lights up a celebratory joint, note that reclassification does not immediately legalize marijuana. It won't affect sentences for those currently incarcerated for possession, nor will it suddenly allow banks to touch cannabis money without fear of money-laundering charges. Also, it remains generally illegal to transport Schedule III drugs across state lines, so that "ganja glut" in legal states isn't going anywhere.
Roger Stone, the Republican operative who looks like a human thumb with a fedora, recently told Marijuana Moment it was "vitally important" to get this done before the midterms to appeal to young and libertarian voters. He accused someone in the administration of "holding up" the process, which is the political equivalent of blaming the dog for eating your homework.
The announcement comes three weeks after Pam Bondi - who opposed marijuana reform in Florida - was fired as attorney general and replaced by Blanche. During his confirmation process, Blanche promised to give reclassification "careful consideration," which apparently took about four months of careful considering.
Most Americans support relaxing marijuana restrictions, though enthusiasm has cooled slightly since legal states started smelling like a Phish concert every weekend. An Economist/YouGov poll found 53% of adults support legalization, including 35% of Republicans. Meanwhile, a survey by NuggMD - a cannabis telehealth platform that definitely has no skin in this game - found 83% support Trump's executive order. Shockingly, only 7% opposed it, while 10% apparently had no opinion on weed, which raises questions about their honesty.