The Hill
Russia's Plague Outbreak: 'Trust Us, It's Fine,' Says Kremlin, As World Reaches for Face Masks
Russia's plague outbreak response is basically 'trust us, bro,' and the world is not having it. Also: everything else that happened.
2026-10-08
The Hill
2026-09-25
The Hill
Consumer Confidence Drops to Four-Month Low Because Apparently $4.49 Gas Isn't Inspiring
Consumer confidence hits a four-month low as gas prices surge, inflation climbs, and Americans from both parties agree the economy is going great - if you're a gas station owner.
2026-09-05
The Atlantic
Data Centers Land in Towns Like Uninvited Guests, Politicians Finally Notice the Cold Shoulder
Data centers are springing up like unwanted weeds, and politicians are just now realizing that locals aren't thrilled about the AI-fueled concrete invasion in their backyards.
2026-08-29
The Guardian
NASA's $4.3B Telescope Survives Trump's Budget Axe, Finally Blasts Off to Hunt Exoplanets
NASA's $4.3B Roman telescope finally launches after surviving Trump's budget cuts, ready to find exoplanets and dark matter - if Florida weather cooperates.
2026-06-15
The Atlantic
J.D. Vance's New Book: From Atheist to Catholic to Trump's VP, With a Mysterious Car Stop Along the Way
J.D. Vance's new memoir reveals his supernatural car rescue, conversion from atheist to Catholic, and pivot from Trump critic to loyal VP - all while trying to convince us his political about-face wasn't just ambition.
2026-06-09
The Guardian
House GOP Narrows the Path: $70 Billion Immigration Bill Inches Forward, Democrats Unimpressed
House Republicans squeak by with a 213-211 vote to debate Trump's $70 billion immigration bill, while World Cup workers threaten strikes, a Somali referee gets denied entry, and Maine voters ponder a candidate with a Nazi tattoo.
2026-05-18
BBC Business
Oil Prices Do the Monday Cha-Cha as Trump Threatens Iran, Then Doesn't
Oil prices do the limbo as Trump threatens Iran, then postpones the attack at Gulf leaders' request, leaving markets to guess if we're heading for war or a deal - or just a very expensive summer.
2026-05-17
The Guardian Europe
Ceasefire Extended, Then Promptly Ignored: Israeli Strikes Kill Six in Southern Lebanon
Israel extends ceasefire, then immediately bombs Lebanon and kills Hamas chief, because peace is for the weak.
2026-05-06
NPR Economy
SNAP, Crackle, Pop: 1 in 8 Americans Now Get to Play 'Will I Eat?' Bingo
SNAP cuts kick in for the 1 in 8 Americans scraping by - NPR wants to hear how 'One Big Beautiful Bill' tastes on an empty stomach.
The Good Times
News in your inbox.
One sardonic roundup, delivered on your schedule. Free. Unsubscribe whenever your tolerance for wit runs out.
Already subscribed but we never reach your inbox? Check your spam folder and hit 'Not spam' (or 'Remove from spam') to bust us out of junk-mail purgatory. You'll be helping everyone else too.