Select parts to regenerate with a fresh AI pass. Translations will be updated automatically.
Articles
Sep 22
UK Government Borrows £18.3bn in August, Because Apparently Money Grows on Trees It Hasn't Planted Yet
Sep 22
Dutch Startup Morphotonics Raises €40M to Put Its Nanoimprint Stamps in Data Centers, Because Why Not
Sep 22
Europe Thinks Russia Is Testing NATO's Limits, Because Subtlety Is Apparently Dead
Sep 22
British Columbia Sues OpenAI Because Apparently 'We'll Look Into It' Isn't a Safety Policy
Sep 22
Australia's Grid Hits 80% Renewables, Proving Sun and Wind Can Actually Do the Thing
Sep 22
Brigitte Bardot Auction Raises €1m, Proving Dead Celebrities Still Outperform the Stock Market
Sep 22
Scientists Unravel Why Kent Meningitis Outbreak Was So Nasty, Because Bacteria Apparently Swapped Notes
Sep 22
NASA Explains Equinox, Confirms Sun Still Doesn't Care About Your Hemisphere Preferences
Sep 22
Australia's Prisons Still Shackle Women in Childbirth, Because Nothing Says 'Care' Like Handcuffs in the Delivery Room
Sep 22
Trump Predicts He'll Lose Lawsuit, Blames Judge He Appointed, Because of Course
Sep 22
Fed Official Confirms Inflation Still High, Economy Still Economy
Sep 22
Two Helicopter Pilots Killed in Yosemite Crash, Because Firefighting Apparently Wasn't Dangerous Enough
Sep 21
Meta's Muse Out-Downloads ChatGPT's Early Days, Because of Course It Does
Sep 21
Nuclear Startup Hires Samsung to Build Reactor So Google Can Keep Asking AI to Write Haikus
Sep 21
Fat Bear Week 2026 Opens, Because Democracy Wasn't Stressful Enough
Sep 21
Xhaka Investigated Over Allegedly Forged Covid Certificate, Because Nothing Says 'Captain' Like a Paperwork Scandal
Sep 21
Xbox Controller Bundle Basically Pays You $20 to Take a Gift Card
Sep 21
Black Holes, Regardless of Size, Apparently Follow the Same Jet-Setting Rule
Sep 21
Reform Wales Gets New Leader After Week That Included Arrest, Defection, and Probably Some Deep Breathing
Sep 21
Epstein Survivors Face Financial Ruin While Congress Offers Thoughts, Prayers, and a Bill That Won't Pass
Sep 21
Airlines Get New Excuse to Say 'Not Our Fault' as DOT Reclassifies 10 Flight Disruptions
Sep 21
Air Traffic Control Glitch Fixed, Ryanair Still Sharpening Its Knives
Sep 21
Japan Braces for Dujuan's Typhoon Encore While Atlantic Hurricane Season Takes an Unscheduled Nap
Sep 21
Documentary Confirms Living Without Electricity Is Bad, Kinshasa Residents Remain Heroically Unsurprised
Sep 21
Official Review Confirms Young People Aren't Snowflakes, Just Living in a Dumpster Fire
Sep 21
AI Eats All the Memory Chips, Apple Charges You £100 for the Privilege
Sep 21
Equinox Arrives, Immediately Undermines Its Own Branding
Sep 21
Australian Politicians Debate Fuel Excise While ACT Dangles $500,000 for Cold Cases
Sep 21
China's MeToo Movement Now Held in Private, Preferably With Art Supplies
Sep 21
Australia's Deaths to Outnumber Births by 2060s, Because Nothing Says 'Bright Future' Like a Demographic Deadline
Sep 21
France and Canada Forge Closer Ties While Trump Busy Redrawing Maps With a Sharpie
Sep 21
UK Government Says Stock Up on Beans and Tuna Because Climate Change Is Coming for Your Dinner
Sep 21
The Weeknd Samples 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' Theme, Because Of Course He Did
Sep 21
Trump to Form Health Funding Board That Can Veto 'Woke' Science, Because Peer Review Was Too Chill
Sep 21
TechCrunch Disrupt 2026 Offers $200 Discount, Proving Deadlines Still Work
Sep 21
World Model Companies Guard Secrets Like They're Hiding a Birthday Present Nobody's Getting
Sep 20
Dead Sea Scrolls Calendar Mystery Solved, Probably, After Only 2,000 Years of Asking
Sep 20
German Chancellor Vows to Stay After CDU's 'Disaster' in State Elections, Because Quitting Would Be Too Easy
Sep 20
America's $40 Trillion Debt Has One Solution, and It's the Tax Everyone Else Already Has
Sep 20
Baltic Spies Say Russia Is Preparing for 'More Decisive Action' in Europe, Which Is Definitely the Kind of Headline You Want Before Breakfast
Sep 20
Hurricane Hunters Identify 4 Warning Signs a Storm Is About to Get Its Act Together
Sep 20
Astrophysicist Explains Humanity's Place in the Cosmos, Reminds Us We're All Just Stardust With Anxiety
Sep 20
Liverpool Edge Bournemouth in a Match That Made 45 Minutes Feel Like a War Crime
Sep 20
Study Finds Eight Common Food Preservatives May Be Bad for Your Heart, Which Is Just Great News for Your Lunch
Sep 20
Google Analyst Goes Undercover in Hacking Gang, Discovers Criminals Are Also Bad at OpSec
Sep 20
T. rex Was Warm-Blooded, According to Its Teeth (Which Are Also Terrifying)
Sep 20
Lib Dems Promise 10p Fuel Duty Cut, Because Nothing Says 'Radical' Like Cheaper Petrol
Sep 20
20,000 Pregnant Women in England Disclose Domestic Abuse Annually, Midwives Expected to Fix It With a Clipboard and a Prayer
Sep 20
Child Dead, Two Children and Woman Critical After Blue Mountains Stabbing; Police Confirm They're Not Looking for Anyone Else
Sep 20
Chiltern Railways Joins Public Ownership, Because Nothing Says 'Growth' Like Nationalising Trains
Sep 20
NASA Releases Photo of Sun Doing a Lazy Figure-8 Over Ancient Scottish Stones
Sep 20
Ed Sheeran Admits 'Mistakes,' Addresses Macklemore Controversy at Philadelphia Show, Still Not Sure If He Wants to Be an Artist
Sep 20
Meta's Muse AI Is Creepy, But Only Because It Has No Idea What It's Talking About
Sep 20
Texas Court Rules Surrogate Baby Can Leave State for Heart Treatment, Because Apparently That Needed Litigating
Sep 20
Sea Dragons Wiped Out in Algal Bloom That Scientists Are Calling 'Mind-Blowing' (Because 'Catastrophic' Felt Inadequate)
Sep 20
Newsom Signs Election Security Bills, Because Apparently Protecting Democracy Is Now a Partisan Activity
Sep 20
Indian Mother Wins Race Barefoot, Accidentally Exposes Nation's Education System
Sep 20
Israeli President Pardons Combat Medic Who Shot Wounded Palestinian, Because Yom Kippur
Sep 20
Melbourne Friends Discover That Building a Triplex With Your Pals Is Harder Than It Looks, Still Worth It
Sep 20
Surveillance Company Offers Buyouts So Employees Can Leave Before They're Asked To
Sep 19
Inter Mount Comeback So Dramatic Even Roma Fans Briefly Forgot to Boo
Sep 19
Gemini Hacked Three Companies, Google Called It 'Mistaken Identity'
Sep 19
Tiny Space Rock's Rings Go on Mysterious Diet, Astronomers Mildly Alarmed
Sep 19
Scientists Suggest Learning a Language Might Actually Keep Your Brain Sharp, Unlike That Crossword You've Been Doing
Sep 19
FAA to Trump's Giant Arch: Sure, Build It, Just Add an Eternal Flame So Pilots Don't Hit It
Sep 19
New Scottish Labour Leader Backs Oilfields, Because Nothing Says 'Rational' Like Double-Down on Fossil Fuels
Sep 19
Court Rules Constitution Doesn't Guarantee Clean Water, Because Apparently That Was Too Much to Ask
Sep 19
Dundee Students Discover 'Perfect Student Home' Was Just a Landlord's Fever Dream
Sep 19
Data Center Panic: The Only Thing Spreading Faster Than AI Is Misinformation
Sep 19
Millwall v West Ham: Police Braced for the Beautiful Game's Least Beautiful Rivalry
Sep 19
Hawley Summons Surveillance Tech CEOs to Explain Why Your License Plate Is Everyone's Business
Sep 19
NASA Watches Neutron Star Hoover Up Giant Blue Star's Wind, Because Apparently Space Has No Chill
Sep 19
Jamie Oliver Finally Gets Schools to Feed Kids Actual Food, 20 Years After Pointing Out the Obvious
Sep 19
NAACP Sues to Stop Trump Admin From Posting Armed Agents at Polls, Because Apparently That Needs Clarifying
Sep 19
UK Told to Prepare for Floods by Deflating Footballs, Which Is Somehow Not a Euphemism
Sep 19
Pussy Riot Artist Says FSB Recruited Her to Spy on Activists, Then Asked Her to Help Kidnap a Kremlin Enemy
Sep 19
Uber Ordered to Pay $40M After Arbitrator Decides It's a Taxi Company, Actually
Sep 19
India Tells Caller-ID Apps to Share Spam Data, Truecaller Cries Foul
Sep 19
Woman Deletes Dating Apps, Flies to Ireland, Returns With Boyfriend and Business Plan
Sep 19
Anthropic Opens Wet Lab to Test AI's Disease-Curing Claims, Because Someone Had To
Sep 19
After 200 Years, Science Finally Confirms What Everyone's Been Whispering About Jefferson
Sep 19
Trump Promises Medicaid Drug Savings, Which Is Definitely Why He Mentioned the Midterms
Sep 19
Trump Bans CNN, MS NOW and Politico from White House, Because Nothing Says 'Free Press' Like a Velvet Rope
Sep 19
Court Tells EPA It Can't Just Pocket $7 Billion and Whistle Innocently
Sep 18
San Diego Police Investigate Family Shooting as VA Denies Allegations It Turned Away a Veteran in Crisis
Sep 18
43 Percent of Americans Blame Trump for Economy, Which Is Somehow Also Biden's Fault, Apparently
Sep 18
India's iPhone 18 Pro Now Arrives Faster Than a Pizza, Because Waiting Is for Peasants
Sep 18
England Recall Alexander-Arnold and Palmer, Because Apparently That's News
Sep 18
Researchers Use Anthropic's Claude to Hack OpenAI, Because of Course They Did
Sep 18
Woman Promoted to VP After Only a Decade of Doing the Work, Company Confirms
Sep 18
Philadelphia Officials Announce Possible Measles Exposure at Children's Hospital, Because 2026 Is Apparently a 1950s Period Piece
Sep 18
Center-Left Told to Step Up and Show America What It Stands For, Preferably Before the Next Election
Sep 18
New AI System Promises Flash Flood Warnings Before You're Already on Your Roof
Sep 18
37 Suspected Illegal Miners Die in Nigerian Custody; Officials Blame 'Disease', Ventilation Blamed Instead
Sep 18
Georgia Utility Regulators Take Field Trip to Savannah, Get an Earful About Data Centers and Power Bills
Sep 18
Sydney T-Shirt Label Finds Thousands of Its Designs on Temu, Because Apparently Copyright Is Just a Suggestion Now
Sep 18
Musician Whose House Burned Down Makes Album About It, Because Of Course
Sep 18
Columbia Student Detained for 104 Days Because Apparently 'Foreign Policy Consequences' Is the New McCarthyism
Sep 18
Google DeepMind Launches Institute to Debate AGI, Because Nothing Says 'Urgent' Like a Four-Essay Collection
Sep 18
Horse Tests Positive for Flesh-Eating Parasite Days Before Border Reopens, Because Timing Is Everything
