At Monday's Met Gala, Kim Kardashian did what she does best: showed up and made everyone else's outfit look like a polite suggestion. While most celebrities vaguely gestured at the 'fashion is art' theme, Kardashian went full art installation, arriving in an orange fibreglass breastplate crafted by a tiny east London art duo and a Kent car bodyshop. Because nothing says 'high art' quite like a vehicle repair specialist.
The breastplate, created by Patrick Whitaker and Keir Malem of Whitaker Malem, was a last-minute collaboration with pop artist Allen Jones. Yes, the same Allen Jones whose fetishistic furniture featuring topless women once enraged second-wave feminists. Now his art is on Kim Kardashian's torso. Progress, of a sort.
Whitaker, 61, reports that Kardashian was 'very clear on wanting a breastplate, very clear on the car body finish.' She also apparently learned from Anna Wintour that five other people - including her half-sisters Kylie and Kendall Jenner - were also wearing breastplates. The Met Gala: where even your siblings are direct competition for nipple-centred fashion statements.
The collaboration began in early April when Kardashian called them directly. During one video call, Whitaker says, 'We were just talking about how firm her body was, and she was just showing me her breasts on a video call whilst Keir and his dad were eating their dinner in the background.' Because nothing says fine dining like a celebrity torso evaluation.
Kardashian flew to the UK and visited Jones's Oxfordshire home with her body dummy 'chucked in the hold like it was a Volvo.' The breastplate was cast from a mould derived from Jones's 1969 Hatstand sculpture, with a hand-painted leather skirt added. Remarkably, her waist and top half fit. 'We'd never seen an Allen Jones breastplate fit anyone so well,' said Whitaker. 'They aren't really designed to be worn.'
The final paint job - several layers of primers, stoppers, solvent base, and gloss lacquer - was handled by Martyn Smith at MPS Body and Paint in Lydd, Kent, who normally does such work on cars. 'I was worried, though,' he admitted. 'I'm not a follower of Kim Kardashian or fashion, but I knew it was going to appear at a big event.' Martyn does their Jag, so they trusted him.
The breastplate was made from glass-reinforced plastic, weighed the same as a bag of flour, and Kardashian was naked underneath. Because when you're wearing a piece of art, who needs underwear?
It was collected days before the gala by 'some poor flustered man who'd flown first class from Los Angeles' to pick it up, then immediately turned around for a 7pm flight to New York. Unable to book a seat for the outfit itself because 'it didn't have a name,' the breastplate was stashed in the overhead locker. We hope no one mistook it for a snack.
Whitaker Malem, who prefer the term 'pop artisans,' have dressed everyone from Cher to Bella Hadid, and created Brad Pitt's skirt in Troy, Wonder Woman's suit, and various Bond girl costumes. Angelina Jolie's Lara Croft suit was made from materials bought at Ridley Road market in Dalston. The duo also made Christian Bale's batsuit, which introduced them to 'the glorious body scanning game.'
As for Jones's controversial legacy, Malem notes that Kardashian's wearing of the breastplate cleverly flips the script. 'Instead of the usual girl draped across the car, he wanted to put the car on the girl.' And that, dear readers, is how you turn a fetish object into a Met Gala moment. You're welcome, art history.