GoPro CEO Nick Woodman has penned a heartfelt letter to customers, insisting that making cameras remains the company's 'core DNA' despite the proposed $285 million acquisition by Starman. The merger, announced earlier this week, is apparently going to make GoPro 'stronger, more capable, and as awesome as we (and you) want us to be' - which is either very reassuring or deeply concerning, depending on your tolerance for corporate buzzwords.

Woodman claims the deal will bolster GoPro's ability to innovate in content creation tech, while also noting that Starman will help address 'important areas of national security related to cameras, optics and AI infrastructure.' Nothing says 'we're still about capturing your epic skateboard wipeouts' like partnering with a defense contractor to work on national security AI.

Notably absent from the letter: any mention of YouTuber Mark 'Markiplier' Fischbach, who became GoPro's largest individual shareholder just before the acquisition was announced. Perhaps he's too busy counting his stoke to comment.

In the letter, Woodman reassures the community that GoPro's 'collective stoke' is safe, citing over 2,500 patents accumulated over the last 24 years as evidence of their relentless innovation. He promises more cameras, smarter accessories, and software that will make capturing, editing, and sharing your experiences 'easier and more exciting than ever.'

The letter concludes with a rallying cry: 'Be a HERO…GoPro.' Because nothing says hero like a company being absorbed by a defense firm while assuring you that the cameras will keep coming, just with a side of national security AI.