In a move that will surely have tech companies reaching for their cheque books with tearful gratitude, the Australian government is today introducing legislation that forces tech giants to pay for journalism. After a series of 11th-hour changes and a handshake with the Coalition, the bill is set to make the internet slightly less like a free-for-all buffet and more like a restaurant where you actually have to pay for the meal.

The legislation requires tech companies to enter into at least eight deals with media outlets if they want to fully acquit their obligations. But don't worry, they can still partially offset their obligation if they're feeling stingy. For those who want to go the extra mile, there's a 200% offset for small and medium players, which is a very strong incentive for them to sign agreements with regional media, CALD media, LGBTQI outlets, and other smaller players. Because nothing says 'we care about diversity' like a tax break.

Meanwhile, Opposition leader Peter Dutton has 'made clear' to his colleague Andrew Bragg that his job is to express the views of the Coalition, after Bragg's staffer berated a journalist for asking about Icac. Dutton, speaking at the National Press Club, said Bragg was sharing his personal views and that the party is going through its policy development process 'carefully' and 'deliberately'. Because nothing says 'we're in control' like a staffer yelling at a journalist.

And in question time, the Coalition again targeted Albanese over his melon comments. Because nothing says 'we're the serious opposition' like obsessing over fruit metaphors.