The Australian government has decided that perhaps letting toxic firefighting foam seep into the groundwater at 28 defence bases wasn't the best strategy, and is now suing manufacturer 3M for $2 billion in what it's calling the 'largest ever' legal claim for PFAS contamination. Attorney General Mark Dreyfus announced the government is seeking the damages to recover cleanup costs, proving that even the Department of Defence can get sticker shock when it comes to eternal chemicals.

Meanwhile, in a separate but equally bureaucratic battle, the government is considering new rules that would force banks, telcos, and digital platforms to automatically reimburse victims of smaller scams - those under $3,000. Because apparently, the current system of 'sorry, you fell for it' isn't cutting it. Labor's scam protection framework would see automatic payments for verified smaller losses, while six-figure investment and romance scams would require a more traditional dispute resolution process. As one official noted, the goal is to avoid making Australia 'a soft target' for scammers, while also not spending more on dispute processes than the scam itself cost.

And in a stunning display of political self-awareness, the government also clarified that taxpayer funds were not used for private business or personal activities - because nothing says 'we're on your side' like a defensive clarification that nobody asked for.