A new poll suggests that Pauline Hanson’s One Nation has become the most popular political party in the country, which is either a sign of the times or proof that political polls are legally required to cause mild heart palpitations. The survey puts One Nation ahead of Labor, adding a fresh layer of chaos to Australia’s already chaotic political landscape.

Tony Abbott, the freshly minted president of the Liberal Party, responded to the poll with the enthusiasm of someone who has seen this movie before. “I wouldn’t get too excited,” Abbott told RN, before immediately getting excited about how the country is “in trouble.” He argued that the Coalition is best positioned to lead, describing the economy as “stagnant,” society as “fragmenting,” and security as “imperiled.” He also accused the Labor government of launching an “assault on aspiration and wealth creation” via its budget, which is a fancy way of saying they didn't give him what he wanted.

Abbott acknowledged that the Liberals are “in a degree of competition” with other centre-right parties, but insisted the real enemy is Labor - specifically a “really bad Green-left-Labor government.” He urged Liberal voters to “join the party and make a difference” rather than complain from the sidelines, which is either a rallying cry or a subtle way of saying the party needs more members to counteract the One Nation surge.