In a major speech to the National Press Club, shadow defence minister James Paterson warned Australians are being lulled into a false sense of security about the likelihood of conflict, saying if the public knew how close danger was, “they would be marching in the streets demanding higher defence spending.” Paterson proposed an annual threat address by the chief of defence force, similar to the ASIO boss’s annual threat assessment, to keep citizens appropriately terrified and supportive of military budgets.
Meanwhile, the opposition leader, Angus Taylor, announced a Coalition government would double Australia’s fuel reserves to at least 60 days and spend $800m on a new storage facility. Taylor said the Albanese government should lift baseline stockholdings from 1 January next year to approach the 90-day minimum required by the International Energy Agency. Nothing says preparedness like storing enough petrol to run a few lawnmowers.
The White House has nominated David Brat, a former Republican congressman who lost his seat in 2018, to be the next ambassador to Australia. Because nothing signals a serious alliance like sending a politician who couldn’t even hold onto their own job.
Mouse numbers have exploded to plague proportions across Western Australia’s grain belt, with CSIRO researcher Steve Henry finding up to 4,000 burrows per hectare in key cropping regions. Truck drivers report that driving the outback roads is “like driving across rice bubbles.” The outbreak is among the worst the state has seen, which is saying something for a place already known for its oversized creepy-crawlies.
The NSW government will spend $820m to upgrade the state’s public transport ticketing system, addressing the “phantom bus” issue where an app indicates a bus is coming but it never arrives. Premier Chris Minns promises the new system will mean buses actually show up, a technological leap comparable to inventing fire.
Western Australia plans to build more than 500 homes for frontline workers in regional towns like Broome, Port Hedland, and Karratha over five years, with $419m in state funding and $170m from mining giants Rio Tinto, BHP, and Hancock Prospecting. Because nothing says “affordable housing” like relying on companies that dig giant holes in the ground.
Anthony Albanese confirmed Japanese counterpart Sanae Takaichi will visit Canberra next week, amid sensitivity about energy exports stemming from the Iran war and the closure of the Strait of Hormuz. Nothing like a global energy crisis to bring allies together for a chat.
Justin Trudeau appeared at the Women Deliver 2026 conference in Melbourne, bathed in pink light in what one participant called “feminist Coachella.” He claimed his government’s “unequivocally pro-choice” position was driven by youth, but said on issues like Israel’s war in Gaza, there was “usually no right answer” when strong emotions are involved. He also admitted he hadn’t compromised on “positions of fundamental importance,” despite overseeing a controversial crude oil pipeline that environmentalists loved almost as much as a hole in the head.