In a development that will delight anyone who's ever argued that their holographic Charizard is an investment, over 200 packages of graded trading cards were stolen last week from a FedEx truck parked outside the headquarters of Professional Sports Authenticator (PSA) in Santa Ana, California. According to The Athletic, the haul is valued at over $963,000 - and that number could climb as PSA continues the tedious work of figuring out exactly which cards went missing. Because nothing says "collectible" like a police report.

PSA, one of the largest third-party sports and hobby card grading companies in the world, reported the theft to the Santa Ana Police Department. The majority of the stolen packages had an approximate value of over $963,000, but PSA is still confirming the full inventory, so the final tally may be even more impressive. It's like a heist movie, but the loot is cardboard rectangles in plastic slabs.

Collectors Holdings, PSA's parent company, acknowledged the theft in a statement on its website, saying it's working closely with local law enforcement and FedEx as the investigation continues. In a move that's either proactive or just good PR, the company says it has "notified marketplace partners so they can be on the lookout for rare and serialized items" to prevent the stolen cards from being resold. All PSA-graded cards have a unique certification number, and the company has deactivated the numbers for all cards identified as stolen so far. So if you see a suspiciously cheap 1st Edition Blastoise on eBay, maybe check the cert number first.

Collectors Holdings also says it has contacted affected customers to arrange compensation based on the fair market value of their missing collectibles, but "up to the maximum insured value for each item selected by the customer prior to grading," according to the report. In other words, if you cheaped out on insurance, that's on you.

One victim, YouTuber Sky-B Cards, identified themselves in a video over the weekend and shared PSA's response. They had paid $8,468 to have 104 collectible sports cards graded, many of which are irreplaceable, and had opted to insure the order for up to $156,000. It's not yet known what compensation they've received. Meanwhile, other affected collectors have reached out to fellow YouTuber Boston Card Hunter, who is compiling a shared list of stolen serialized cards with detailed descriptions to help collectors identify them. Because when life gives you a theft, make a collaborative spreadsheet.

The moral of the story: if you're shipping nearly a million dollars' worth of graded cards, maybe don't leave them in a FedEx truck parked on the street. Or at least insure them properly. Either way, the thieves have excellent taste in cardboard.