Cheshire police have a message for the masterminds behind a rather ambitious heist: Guinness is only 'good for you' if you actually pay for it. This sage advice comes after thieves made off with over 70,000 pints' worth of the black stuff from a depot in Runcorn.

Officers believe two lorries rolled into the depot on Monday, each hooking up to a waiting trailer loaded with a combined total of about 800 barrels before driving off into the night. The first lorry connected to its trailer at around 7.55pm and headed towards the Mersey Gateway bridge, while the second arrived at 9.12pm, attached to another trailer, and left at 9.30pm in the direction of Rainhill and Watkinson Way.

Detective Sergeant McClatchy, clearly not in the mood for shenanigans, stated: "It is famously said that 'Guinness is good for you', but that is only the case when it has been bought and paid for." He added that they've launched inquiries to identify those responsible for the theft of £115,000 worth of Guinness and the two trailers, and will settle for nothing less than the full recovery of all the items.

Police are appealing for witnesses, particularly motorists who may have dashcam footage from the area around the times of the incidents. The stolen barrels, containing approximately 70,400 pints, were destined for pubs, which are presumably now facing a severe shortage of Ireland's finest export. Diageo, the brand's owner, has a packaging warehouse on the Whitehouse Industrial Estate on Aston Lane.

The suspects are described as men, with the first having a short dark beard and wearing a beanie hat, while the second wore a cap. The trailers are white tri-axle curtain side trailers with GXO branding and unique ID numbers DL736 and DL542 on the rear doors. When all is said and done, the total value of the stolen goods is estimated at about £205,000.

One can only hope the thieves have a plan for 70,000 pints that doesn't involve a very conspicuous pub crawl.