Australia's parliamentary inquiry into the 2025 election campaign got a brisk 'not us, guv' from the Plymouth Brethren Christian Church, whose director Luke Grimshaw testified that the church didn't pay or ferry members to volunteer at polling booths for Liberal candidates. 'There was not one single cent paid from the church to fund that type of activity,' Grimshaw declared, adding that volunteers, being free agents, 'have got to get around somehow' - presumably by the same mysterious forces that get anyone else to a polling booth.

Grimshaw also painted a touching picture of church members facing the harsh realities of democracy: 'A young person from our church was brought to tears with the type of abuse she was suffering,' he said, describing aggressive questioning and camera-shoving by people apparently shocked to see religious folks exercising their civic duties.

Meanwhile, rightwing group Advance is sulking about being summoned to the inquiry, with chair Vicki Dunne calling the committee's media release 'threatening' and 'political grandstanding.' Dunne, a former ACT Liberal assembly member, claimed her volunteers suffered 'harassment, provocation, and interference' during the election, and found it 'curious' that in a democracy, Advance faces suspicion that major parties don't. The irony of a group named 'Advance' complaining about scrutiny is presumably lost on no one.

In other news, former integrity watchdogs Deborah Glass and Robert Redlich gave a cautious thumbs-up to Victoria's royal commission into the construction sector, praising its 'broad' terms of reference as a 'much-needed step' to clean up corruption and 'extraordinary waste' of public money. They noted the inquiry should probe both individual misconduct, including 'grey corruption,' and systemic failures - all the fun stuff.

Over at Sydney Airport, the transport safety bureau is investigating a near-miss between two Qantas planes that came close to sharing the same taxiway at the same time. A Qantas Airbus A321, heading to Melbourne, had to brake to let a Boeing 737 from the Gold Coast pass. The ATSB classified it as a mere 'incident' rather than a 'serious incident,' because apparently planes almost kissing is just another Tuesday. They'll probe the 'potentially conflicting instructions' and expect a preliminary report in six to eight weeks.

In a tragic mix-up, NSW Premier Chris Minns and Police Commissioner Mal Lanyon apologized after falsely announcing that missing bushwalker Lily Hooper had been found alive, only to confirm her body was later recovered. Minns called the miscommunication 'not born of ill will' but 'tragic,' and praised Lily as 'a fantastic person' who loved the outdoors. Lanyon noted that communication in remote areas 'can be challenging,' which is one way to put it.

Victoria's Premier Ben Carroll, meanwhile, took aim at shadow attorney general James Newbury for calling the construction royal commission a 'cover up.' Carroll insisted 'everyone and anyone can be called,' including former premiers, and suggested Newbury's comments showed 'inexperience' and 'lack of sophistication.' 'The more Mr Newbury is in the media, the better for us,' Carroll quipped, because nothing says confidence like hoping your political rival keeps talking.

Finally, the AFP arrested a 27-year-old dual Russian-Australian citizen in Sumner, Queensland, on charges of attempting foreign interference. The Counter Foreign Interference Task Force did the honors, and the man is expected to face Brisbane magistrates court. Because apparently, in the land down under, even the weather isn't the only thing trying to influence you.