Pabst Brewing Company has turned to social media to locate thousands of cans of its Blue Ribbon beer stolen from a distribution center in California. The company announced the theft with the kind of dramatic flair usually reserved for soap operas or, you know, a missing shipment of beer worth $25,000 (£18,500).

"STOLEN," the company declared, adding a message for the thief: "We don't fault you for wanting to brag to your friends how much PBR you have, we just wish you obtained it the honourable way." Because apparently, the crime here isn't the theft - it's the lack of a proper beer heist narrative.

The alleged thief presented false documentation at an Anheuser-Busch distribution centre in Montclair, police said, and drove off with a shipment destined for San Diego. The beer weighed in at a hefty 40,000lbs (18,144kg), which is either a lot of beer or a very committed workout routine.

But wait, there's more. This was the second theft from the same distribution centre on the same day. Montclair Police are investigating whether the two incidents are part of the same "fraudulent cargo-theft operation." The first theft involved a $45,000 (£33,000) shipment headed for Tucson, Arizona, picked up on 17 August but never arrived. An hour later, the PBR shipment was fraudulently claimed.

Police noted "similarities between the two incidents," with discrepancies in the trucking company, driver, and vehicles involved. Truly, the criminals are either masterminds or just really bad at covering their tracks - we'll let the investigation decide.

Pabst Brewing, which contracts Anheuser-Busch to brew its beer, is offering an unspecified reward for the return of the shipment. In their social media post, they tried to underscore the seriousness of the crime, acknowledging, "We realise how ridiculous that sounds, but it's the truth. This is real and we are deadly serious."

They also gave the thief a rather specific ultimatum: "Pabst is officially starting the clock now - you have exactly 18 days and 44 minutes to return our truckload of beer, no questions asked." The number is a nod to the company's founding year of 1844. Because nothing says "we're serious about beer theft" like a countdown that references your corporate history.

So, if you see a suspiciously well-stocked party or a beer truck parked in a questionable location, you might want to give Pabst a call. They're waiting, and they're not joking - mostly.