In a move that will surely delight parents and dismay those with a deep-seated love of greasy spoons, a Commons health committee has recommended banning fast food chains like KFC from opening near schools. They also want to pull the plug on junk food ads on billboards and public transport, because apparently the sight of a giant burger while waiting for the bus is too much for the nation's collective willpower.

The committee, clearly fed up with the food industry's lobbying prowess, is urging ministers to grow a spine and tackle the UK's obesity problem, which costs a staggering £74bn a year and causes no end of illness. Supermarkets, meanwhile, would be forced to display fruit and veggies front and center - near entrances and checkouts, naturally - to guilt-trip shoppers into buying something that wasn't deep-fried.

All food would need to sport traffic light-style labels, because nothing says 'I'm making healthy choices' like a little red, amber, and green sticker. The government is also being told to hurry up on its previously announced plan to make food producers reveal the percentage of their sales from healthy versus unhealthy products. In other words, prepare for some awkward shareholder meetings at the Crisp Factory.