A patient is being tested for the suspected Ebola virus at a Glasgow hospital, the Press Association has reported. The patient was admitted to the Queen Elizabeth university hospital in the early hours of Tuesday, presumably not the ideal way to start a week. Tests are now underway to confirm whether the individual has contracted the disease, because nothing says 'Tuesday morning' like an Ebola scare.

Public Health Scotland, in a statement that could double as a calming lullaby, said there are “no confirmed cases of Ebola” in Scotland right now. But they’re not taking any chances: “Public Health Scotland is working closely with UKHSA, to assess routes by which travellers may enter the UK from affected countries.” The risk, they assure us, is low, and the NHS has safe procedures in place - probably including that one nurse who’s seen every episode of 'Contagion'.

There have been almost 700 confirmed cases of bundibugyo Ebola virus, mostly in the Democratic Republic of Congo, with about 138 deaths, including two in neighbouring Uganda. If this case is confirmed, it would be the first in the UK since the WHO declared the DRC outbreak a public health emergency of international concern. The UK has already committed up to £21m to support the local response in DRC, because nothing says 'we care' like a fat cheque and a prayer.