BERLIN - In a move that surprised absolutely no one with a functional radar, the German government has officially blamed Russia for last month's drone shenanigans at Leipzig airport, calling it "dangerous behaviour" and part of Moscow's grand plan to "cause great damage" through a buffet of hybrid attacks.
Interior Minister Alexander Dobrindt and Foreign Minister Johann Wadephul, in a brisk 10-minute briefing that probably could have been an email, ended weeks of hemming and hawing by declaring that all signs pointed to the Russian state providing the knowhow and equipment for the planned attack, with "low-level agents" recruited to do the dirty work.
For those keeping score at home: on 4 August, a drone loaded with explosives was found attached to the wing of a Ukrainian Antonov cargo plane at Leipzig/Halle airport, which was reportedly used to ferry weapons to Ukraine. The drone failed to detonate, which authorities politely noted could have been a catastrophe. You know, just a tad.
Wadephul, with the gravitas of a man announcing a new tax, said Russia would face a package of penalty measures, insisting the government saw "a need for appropriate and necessary action." He promised a response that is "proportionate and measured, yet equally resolute," because apparently that's the diplomatic way of saying, "We're annoyed but not quite at war."
"We are not at war, but we are a daily target of hybrid warfare," Wadephul lamented, adding that Russia's "dangerous behaviour" is part of attempts at destabilisation, disinformation, threats, sabotage, and aggression. Berlin, he said, regrets the "abysmal state" of relations with Moscow, which is like regretting the hangover after deliberately chugging a bottle of vodka.
The EU, ever the supportive friend, expressed "full solidarity" with Germany, and Nato assured Berlin it would defend its members. Meanwhile, Russian President Vladimir Putin, probably from a bunker somewhere, called the sanctions "another mistake," suggesting they were designed to curry favour with voters. "I think it’s another mistake, a serious one," Putin said via Tass, possibly while twirling a villainous mustache. "And in my view it clearly runs counter to the interests of the German people." Because nothing says "I care about German interests" like planting explosives on their cargo planes.
In the flurry of consequences, the Russian ambassador was summoned to the foreign ministry, the Russian consulate in Bonn is set to close later this month, and Russian House - that sprawling cultural and science institute in Berlin that allegedly doubles as a spy nest and launchpad for hybrid attacks - is being evicted from its rented building. Talk about losing your lease over sketchy behaviour.
Also on the docket: a clampdown on Russia's shadow fleet, those illegal ships hauling Russian oil through the Baltic and North seas. Sweden and Finland have been playing whack-a-mole with these vessels, but Germany hasn't, so the ships apparently treat German waters like a VIP lane. New blacklists and tighter border controls for Russians entering Germany are also planned, because why not add bureaucracy to the mix?
And because one package of sanctions is never enough, Berlin is backing the European Commission's 22nd package, which will cover an additional 1,600 companies and organisations with Russian ties. Because at this point, who's counting?
The government has wisely decided not to invoke Nato's Article 4, but partners were briefed and nodded approvingly. Nato Secretary General Mark Rutte and European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen promised "full solidarity," with Rutte praising Berlin's "clear evidence" and von der Leyen vowing to keep the EU united "despite these escalating and serious acts." Cue dramatic music.
Tuesday's announcement marks the first time Germany has explicitly named Russia, and it's safe to say relations between Berlin and Moscow have hit their lowest point in decades - lower than that time Russia invaded Ukraine, which was already pretty low.
This weekend, eastern states Saxony-Anhalt and Mecklenburg Vorpommern head to the polls, with the war in Ukraine and Russia relations as hot topics. The far-right Alternative für Deutschland, which is pushing a pro-Russia agenda and hoping for an absolute majority in Saxony-Anhalt, has accused the government of double standards. They're demanding proof of Russia's involvement and want the same scrutiny applied to the Nord Stream pipeline attack, for which Ukraine is allegedly responsible. Because why not complicate things?
Now, about that drone: it was carrying 600g of explosives, discovered in the security area near Ukrainian Antonov cargo planes on the night of 4-5 August, with a detonator that apparently had stage fright. A second drone was suspected but later doubted, and traces of military explosive hexogen were found on 14 August along with another drone. Had they detonated, chaos would have ensued, as officials solemnly noted.
Chancellor Friedrich Merz, who last week promised the culprit "will pay," was notably absent from the briefing - perhaps busy writing checks or practicing his stern face. Green party security expert Konstantin von Notz had previously slammed the government for being "hesitant, reticent and timid," urging it to "finally stop" and take decisive action. Even within Merz's own CDU, foreign policy expert Roderich Kiesewetter called for a tougher line, accusing governments of "extreme caution with regard to Russian state terrorism on German soil."
And in a delightful sidebar, Bild Zeitung reported that German intelligence has linked other drone and explosives finds across Europe - Romania, Italy, Poland, Bulgaria, and the UK - to Russian activities, with a weapons cache found in a Berlin forest possibly connected to Russian shenanigans in Romania. Investigators are working in parallel, presumably sharing notes and eye-rolls.
So there you have it: Germany has finally named the elephant in the room, and his name is Vladimir. The sanctions are coming, the consulates are closing, and the shadow fleet is on notice. Whether this will change Putin's mind is anyone's guess, but at least Berlin can say it did something other than tut-tut from the sidelines.