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Articles
Nov 10
NHS Opens First Women's Psychiatric Intensive Care Unit in Kent, Proving Specialist Care Is Apparently a Novel Concept
Nov 9
Pentagon Eyes Moon for Satellite Fleet, Because Earth Orbit Apparently Wasn't Paranoid Enough
Nov 9
Nvidia Loses $250B After CEO's Affair With Alleged Chinese Spy Sparks Investigation Nobody Wanted
Nov 9
Civil Servant Holds Eight Full-Time Jobs, Because Apparently 183-Hour Weeks Are a Thing
Nov 9
England's Air Quality Hits 'Very High' Thanks to Fog, Fireworks, and the Eternal Charm of Bonfire Night
Nov 9
Erling Haaland Donates Norway's Most Expensive Book to Local Library, Proves He Can Read (Sort Of)
Nov 9
Automattic Launches Spacefast So Your Vibe-Coded Masterpiece Can Finally Have a Database
Nov 9
Trump Says Deportation Policy 'Might Have Been Too Tough,' Immediately Promotes the Guy Who Built It
Nov 9
Tesla Kills the Cybertruck, Will Refund Deposits for the Truck Nobody Bought
Nov 9
Glasgow Doctors Warn Hospital Is One Winter Away From 'Uncontrollable System Failure'
Nov 9
Scientists Confirm Your Gut Bacteria Will Eat You If You Don't Eat Enough Plants
Nov 9
Thames Water Asks Creditors for More Time to Repay £20bn, Because Apparently Deadlines Are Also Leaking
Nov 9
Poland's Justice Minister Vows Investigation Will Determine If Kraków Gunman Acted Alone, Because Apparently 'He's Dead' Isn't an Answer
Nov 9
Senegal Boat Tragedy Kills 34 as Canary Islands Route Proves Deadlier Than Ever
Nov 9
Chris Packham Answers Life's Burning Questions, Like 'What Are Wasps For?' (Spoiler: Spite)
Nov 9
Ozone Hole Hits 2026 Max, Seventh-Largest on Record, Because the Sky Has a Schedule
Nov 9
Environment Minister Politely Asks Colleagues to Stop Leaking on the Treasurer, Please
Nov 9
Apps That Promise to Cure Your Doomscrolling (While You Stare at Your Phone)
Nov 9
Scientists Find Protein That May Be Sabotaging Your Insulin, Because Of Course It's Miro1
Nov 9
Apple Tells Siri to Stop Being a Chatbot and Start Doing Things, Ideally Before Rivals Notice
Nov 9
Charity Suggests Planning for Christmas Before You've Even Finished Halloween Candy
Nov 9
Melbourne Man Charged With Murder After Delivery Rider Stabbed Over Bikes, Because Apparently That's A Thing Now
Nov 9
Scientists Solve Mystery of Minute-by-Minute Grid Disturbances, Blame Batteries for Being Too Punctual
Nov 9
Soul Glo's 'Diaspora Problems' Proves Hardcore Can Still Surprise You, If You're Paying Attention
Nov 9
Australia Gets a Freak Spring Snowstorm, Because Climate Change Has a Sense of Humor
Nov 8
New Senator Offers to Meet Trump, Provided the President Can Pass a Lie Detector
Nov 8
Sequoia Partners Reportedly Blindsided by Roelof Botha's SpaceX Board Move, Because Apparently Asking First Is So Last Year
Nov 8
Paramedic With 37 Years of Service Assaulted at Altnagelvin Hospital; Society Reminded Assault Isn't a Job Perk
Nov 8
Elvis and Eminem Rights Holders Sue Suno, Because Even the King Can't Escape the Algorithm
Nov 8
Nuclear Blast Could Save Earth From Asteroid, Provided We Hit the Right Lumpy Side
Nov 8
Gunman Opens Fire in Krakow's Main Square; Six Dead, Including His Own Family
Nov 8
Epstein Survivors Find Unlikely Solace in Corkboards Full of Notes, While DOJ Calls It a 'Sham Tour'
Nov 8
Physicists Listen to Electrical Noise, Discover Electrons Were Pairing Up All Along
Nov 8
Cop31 Kicks Off in Antalya: Australia Hosts, Turkey Sets the Agenda, and Everyone Else Jockeys for Position
Nov 8
Liverpool v Arsenal: Two Struggling Giants Meet, Because Someone Has To Win
Nov 8
Six Touchscreen Gloves That Let You Text Without Losing a Finger to Frostbite
Nov 8
Pope Leo XIV Visits Argentina, Accidentally Schedules Photo Op With Everything Milei Has Been Cutting
Nov 8
Beta Blockers for Teen Anxiety: The Magic Pill That Isn't, Says Woman Who Tried One
Nov 8
Liverpool Christmas Market Now Costs £12,000 a Stall, Because Nothing Says 'Festive Cheer' Like a Second Mortgage
Nov 8
Trump's Power Fades, World Breathes Sigh of Relief (and Waits for the Other Shoe to Drop)
Nov 8
Ukraine Strikes Russian Rocket Factory as Space Becomes the Newest Front Nobody Signed a Treaty For
Nov 8
Scientists Still Piecing Together How Bantu Speakers Reshaped Africa, One Pottery Shard at a Time
Nov 8
Thailand Weighs Deporting Two Uyghurs, Who Say China Would Make Them 'Like Slaves'
Nov 8
Labubu Hype Flatlines as Pop Mart Discovers Viral Fame Isn't a Business Model
Nov 8
Lightning Gets a Climate Change Upgrade, Because Apparently It Didn't Have Enough Power
Nov 8
Government Discovers That Selling Historic Barracks Is Unpopular, Decides Not To
Nov 8
Parents Demand Kid-Safe Phones; Tech Industry Discovers Children Are Not Small Adults
Nov 8
Five-Year-Old's Life-Saving Dementia Treatment Comes With a £2.95 Million Price Tag, Because Of Course It Does
Nov 8
Kraków Shooting Kills Six, Injures Sixteen; Authorities Confirm Terrorism, Far-Right Ideology, and a Distinctly Unhelpful Online Rumor Mill
Nov 7
NASA Seeks Humans Willing to Walk on the Moon, Live in a Moon Base, and Possibly Die Trying
Nov 7
Researchers Find Murder Isn't Just Aggression With the Volume Knob Broken Off; America Says 'Hold My AR-15'
Nov 7
Young People Discover That Grieving Together Is Slightly Less Awful Than Grieving Alone
Nov 7
São Paulo Grand Prix Secures Future Until 2035, Because Apparently Rain and Grid Penalties Are a Selling Point
Nov 7
National Trust Votes to Bank Somewhere It Doesn't Have to Explain to Members, Barclays Unfazed
Nov 7
Stephen Miller Promoted to Chief of Staff, Immediately Pledges 'Absolute Loyalty' to the One Man He Was Already Pledging It To
Nov 7
Great Lakes Activists Brace for Underwater Datacenters While Everyone Else Asks 'Wait, What?'
Nov 7
Industry's 'High Safety' Plastic Chemical Linked to Smaller Babies, Because of Course It Is
Nov 7
Russia Preps for Peace Talks by Bombarding Ukraine's Power Grid, Because Diplomacy Is Apparently a Contact Sport
Nov 7
Rubin Observatory Finds Two Faint Galaxies, Promises Hundreds More Like It's Collecting Stamps
Nov 7
Study Finds Europe's Ancient Forests Were Basically Sunny Meadows With Snacks, Not Dark Tree Tunnels
Nov 7
Nationwide Launches 'Market-Leading' 5.3% Savings Account, Immediately Reminds You It's for Members Only
Nov 7
England Rugby Backed Into a Corner, Which Is Apparently Their Happy Place
Nov 7
Government Vows to End Rough Sleeping by Christmas, Just in Time for Its Own Early-Release Policy to Make It Worse
Nov 7
New Zealand Election 2026: Nation Waits to Learn Which Chris Will Be PM, and Whether Anyone Actually Voted for Them
Nov 7
Ten Years After Paris, Climate Talks Ask: 'What's the Point?' (Answer: Still Arguably Yes, But Bring Snacks)
Nov 7
Alpine Linux Fixes OpenSSH Flaw That Let One Character Ruin Your Whole Weekend
Nov 7
Ex-Kennedy Adviser Says White House Wanted Sugar Money More Than Health Policy
Nov 7
Paraguay President Impeached, Arrested, and Confined to House in Record Time - Ueno Bank Not So Fortunate
Nov 7
Satellite Company Decides Building Rockets Is Easier Than Booking a Ride, Timeline Suggests Otherwise
Nov 7
Mortgage Rates Dip for Third Week, Stocks Stage a Modest Comeback, and Everyone Still Feels Poor
Nov 7
Spelling Bee Crowns Champion After 200,000 Students Eliminated, Proving Vowels Are a Cruel Mistress
Nov 7
OpenAI Raises $11 Billion at $1.25 Trillion Valuation, Which Is Apparently a Disappointment Now
Nov 7
Geologists Blame Mantle for Billion-Year Gap in Rock Record, Because of Course It's Never the Mantle's Fault
Nov 6
Sen. Chris Murphy to Miss 'Several Weeks' of Votes After Small Stroke, Because Even Rising Stars Need Rehab
Nov 6
Shure Drops MV7 Plus Price, Proving Podcasters Can Finally Afford to Sound Like They Know What They're Doing
Nov 6
Wales Moves to Ban Under-16s From Buying Energy Drinks, Because Apparently 'Red Bull Gives You Wings' Wasn't Meant Literally for Kids
Nov 6
Thomas Markle Arrested in Florida on Child Sexual Abuse Material Charges, Because 2024 Had Room for One More Plot Twist
Nov 6
Foodbank Closes After 16 Years of Feeding People, Because Apparently That's Where We Are Now
Nov 6
Blue Origin Delays New Glenn (Again), China Promises Moon by 2030, and Artemis II Literally Ripped the Sky a New One
Nov 6
Football News Live: Manager Clarifies Forest Is Not a Spa, Ronaldo Retires, and Everyone Is Very Focused on the Next Game
Nov 6
Startup Unveils 32MB Speech Model, Proving Not Everything Needs a Data Center
Nov 6
Europeans Overwhelmingly Believe in Climate Change, Overwhelmingly Prefer Fixing It Without Inconveniencing Themselves
Nov 6
Met Chief Warns Policing 'Heading for Failure' Unless It Fixes a System Last Updated When the Beatles Were Still Together
Nov 6
Tesla Quietly Retires the Cybertruck to Make Room for Even More Robotaxis
Nov 6
Tech Stocks Tumble After Midterms, and Your Pension Is Quietly Along for the Ride
Nov 6
Scotland Celebrates Bonfire Night by Setting Police Cars on Fire, Because Tradition
Nov 6
Panipat's Recycling Boom: Where Fast Fashion's Discards Cost Workers Their Limbs, and Factory Owners Face No Consequences
Nov 6
NASA Astronaut Photographs Utah River That Can't Stop Looping Back on Itself
Nov 6
Twisted Teens Drop Third Album of 2026, Because Apparently Two Wasn't Enough
Nov 6
Science Confirms Your 9pm Biscuit Raid Is Biology, Not Weakness
Nov 6
Delhi Unveils Winter Action Plan, Air Quality Immediately Reminds Everyone It's Still Delhi
Nov 6
Liberal Campaign Bus Reverses Into Awning, Proving 'Fresh Start' Includes New Ways to Hit Things
Nov 6
Space Company Raises $730 Million to Build 737-Satellite AI Constellation, Because Subtlety Is Dead
Nov 6
Rolls-Royce Grows Metal Blades That Defy Physics, Because Apparently Casting Is for Peasants
Nov 6
Turkey Manhunt Ends After Eight Killed in Multi-Location Shooting Spree, Because Apparently One Location Wasn't Enough
Nov 6
Government to Employers: Just Put the Salary in the Ad Already
Nov 6
Serve Robotics Wants to Be the AWS of Robots, Because Every Tech Company Eventually Wants to Be AWS
Nov 5
Sunderland's Europa League Nightmare Continues, Because Of Course It Does
Nov 5
Sanders to Democrats: Now That You've Won, Maybe Try Passing the Popular Thing
Nov 5
Democrats Win Trifectas in Arizona, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin; Clean Energy Suddenly Has a Pulse