In a stunning display of political theater that would make a soap opera blush, Liberal frontbencher Tim Wilson has accused Labor of making NDIS disability clients feel 'like they're being targeted, not the fraudsters.' Because, of course, the best way to reform a scheme is to ensure the victims of fraud feel warmly embraced while the actual fraudsters continue their merry dance.

Wilson, apparently channelling the spirit of 'protect the vulnerable, but only when it's politically convenient,' called on the government to pivot its focus to fraud and corruption. 'We have people who are awarding either packages to people when they shouldn't be used, we're having people taking advantage of the system and we know this is being exposed,' he said, in a sentence that suggests he's been taking grammar lessons from a spaghetti western.

He warned that 'massive growth' in the disability scheme is continuing, and the government's reforms are making those on disability support packages 'very nervous about their future.' Because nothing says 'we care' like telling the most vulnerable Australians that they're the problem, not the scammers.

Meanwhile, in a separate but equally alarming development, an expert has warned that bird flu detected on the Murray-Darling basin 'should be ringing alarm bells.' Because when you're dealing with a potential pandemic and a political scandal, why not add a little avian influenza to the mix? It's the Australian way.

So, as the Coalition and Labor negotiate changes to the NDIS, one thing is clear: the clients are sweating, the fraudsters are laughing, and the birds are getting sick. But hey, at least the politicians are making sure the children are protected from advertisements, because that's clearly the most pressing issue of our time.