In a week that has apparently decided to cram every possible political headache into a single news cycle, Australian politics has delivered a veritable buffet of apologies that haven't happened, AI-powered abuse, and a confrontation over election signage that ended in hospital. Let's dive in, shall we?
First, the apology that wasn't. Independent senator Jacqui Lambie says One Nation leader Pauline Hanson has yet to personally apologise to her over her party's "Please Explain" cartoon that poked fun at Lambie's medical condition. Hanson did issue a public apology for the cartoon, which depicted Lambie saying "I can't laugh because of my prolapsed vagina," and the video was subsequently removed from online platforms. But Lambie told ABC's 7.30 last night that Hanson "hasn't emailed, messaged, even sent me a nice little card and said, 'I'm really sorry for doing that'." Mark Nicholson - who is running in the Victorian state election for One Nation and is cofounder of Stepmates Studio, which makes the cartoons - told 7.30 it was his job to "pick on people in the public realm" and he would not apologise. "Not right now," he said. "If I do anything that is apology-worthy, I'll apologise." Nicholson claimed he had "drawn quite a lot of attention" to the medical issue rather than trivialising it. Lambie said Nicholson should drop out of the election. One can only assume the "nice little card" industry is holding its breath.
Meanwhile, Minister for Women Katy Gallagher has called for social media platforms to be held accountable for online abuse, noting that the volume, scale, and forcefulness of threats and abusive language have increased during her time in politics. This follows ABC reporting that found almost 5,000 threats and violent comments were flagged on the social media accounts of 22 Labor politicians in three months by an AI tool. "It's simply out of control in an online world and we've got to make the platforms accountable," Gallagher said. "Facebook is the worst in terms of the platforms, Instagram and TikTok less so, but still bad. The platforms have to help us here because, the way it's going now, our accounts are just a place for people to come and abuse pretty vigorously." It's comforting to know that even the abusers are being ranked by platform.
In Victoria, the Greens will today announce an election commitment to establish a lobbyist register and ban political donations from "big corporate money." The party said there would be a legislated register for lobbyists and a ban on political donations from the gambling industry, fossil fuel companies, and property developers. Victoria has a $7,500 cap on donations, but only foreign donations are banned. The state has a lobbyist register - but the only sanction available is removal of a lobbyist from that register. Guardian Australia last year reported no lobbyist has been sanctioned in Victoria since the latest code of conduct was introduced by the Napthine government in 2013. Victorian Greens leader Ellen Sandell said the state's laws have allowed corporations to influence politics: "These corporations don't hand over thousands of dollars out of the goodness of their hearts. They expect something in return, and it's everyday Victorians who end up paying the price." A register with no sanctions: the political equivalent of a bouncer who just asks nicely.
Elsewhere, former mining boss Kellie Parker will lead the new defence agency overseeing the delivery of projects worth hundreds of billions of dollars. The Albanese government will announce Parker, who used to run Rio Tinto's Australian business, has been appointed to the role of national armaments director for five years. She begins next month at the new independent defence delivery agency, which was set up in response to cost blowouts and lacklustre project management. Defence industry minister Pat Conroy pointed to Parker's experience in bringing cultural change to the mining company after the destruction of the ancient Juukan Gorge rock shelters in 2020. He said other senior female appointments, including the first woman to lead the army, Lt Gen Susan Coyle, were merit-based. "They've both dealt with male-dominated industries with cultures that are pretty rough and challenging for women, and so they're perfect people to lead that cultural journey." Nothing says "fix our defence procurement" like someone who's already handled a PR catastrophe involving blown-up ancient rock shelters.
Defence minister Richard Marles is doing the rounds this morning to address the Australian Signals Directorate's (ASD) annual cyber threat report. The report warns Australians to prepare for more basic and important online services to go offline unexpectedly and urges businesses and critical infrastructure to use cutting-edge AI models to defend against digital threats. "If you've got an old system which is attached to the internet, it is effectively a gateway to a malicious actor," Marles said. "You've really got to prioritise hardening your system, even if that's at the expense of access to it. Malicious actors are now able to use AI to find vulnerabilities in the systems of organisations and companies, and they're doing that to exploit them." So: the bad guys have AI, the good guys need AI, and your old router is basically a welcome mat. Excellent.
Also in parliament, a departmental boss has warned female public servants receive "more egregious forms of abuse" on social media after complaints from bureaucrats about what they claim is selective clipping of evidence being posted online. Last month, the Secretaries Board, which includes heads of departments, asked the government to introduce rules restricting testimony from being uploaded to X and Instagram. They argued the clips were exposing public servants to ridicule and abuse, but their bid has been dismissed as an attempt to limit public accountability. Steven Kennedy, secretary of the department of the prime minister and cabinet, told a parliamentary hearing yesterday: "I would note that secretaries have observed that it is often female public servants and those from First Nations … backgrounds who experience the more egregious forms of abuse on social media." The internet: still terrible, but now with data.
And finally, in Melbourne, the husband of a Victorian Liberal party candidate has allegedly been assaulted during a confrontation over election signs. A Liberal party spokesperson on Monday evening confirmed the husband of their candidate for Yan Yean, Amanda Dow, was involved in an alleged incident in Mernda yesterday afternoon. "We understand Ms Dow's husband approached a member of the public who was removing Liberal party campaign signage and was allegedly assaulted." He suffered facial injuries, was taken to hospital, and was discharged today. Police confirmed a 59-year-old Mernda man had been charged with recklessly causing injury, criminal damage, and unlawful assault over the incident, which they alleged occurred near Abundant Avenue and Bridge Inn Road at about 2pm yesterday. "Police have been told the victim attended an address to retrieve political campaign signage when he was [allegedly] assaulted." The man has been bailed to appear before Heidelberg magistrates' court on 1 February 2027. Nothing says democracy like a fistfight over a corflute.
Good morning and welcome to our live news blog. I'm Martin Farrer with the top overnight stories, and then it will be Kat Wong with the main action.