In the glorious, chaotic world of non-league football, Herne Bay have found themselves in a situation so absurd it could only be real football. After battering Broadfields United 6-1 away in an extra preliminary round replay - thanks to a brace from winger Henry Sinai - following a 2-2 draw, the club was all set to advance. But no. The football gods (or the FA) have decreed a replay of the replay.

The reason? A "substitution matter" from the 88th minute, when Herne Bay were already 5-0 up. Apparently, they used a sixth substitute - centre-back Joe Tyrie coming on for striker Joe Taylor - believing it was allowed as a concussion substitute after an earlier head injury. Broadfields' statement clarifies that the sixth sub was "made in error and allowed in error by the match officials," violating competition rule 126, which only permits additional concussion subs "in the competition proper" (first round onwards). So, next Tuesday, they'll do it all again at Broadfields' Tithe Farm Sports & Social Club, where the forecast is light cloud and a gentle breeze. We go again, indeed.

Meanwhile, in the Premier League transfer circus, Enzo Maresca is expecting a busy end to the window but confirms Manchester City will not meet Chelsea's 5pm Friday deadline for Enzo Fernández. City are closing in on 18-year-old Ayyoub Bouaddi from Lille, while Fernández, who worked with Maresca at Stamford Bridge, would cost £120m. Maresca, taking charge of City for the first time in a competitive match on Sunday against Arsenal in Cardiff, said: "Not today to be honest, I don't think we're going to do something today. For sure there are things we need to do, how many I don't know... My focus is on the game." Priorities, people.

In other news, Aston Villa's 1981 title-winning goalkeeper Jimmy Rimmer has died at 78. Rimmer, ever-present in that title run, is best remembered for being forced off after nine minutes in the 1982 European Cup final, where Villa beat Bayern Munich 1-0. He also watched from the bench in 1968 as Manchester United beat Benfica. Villa's statement called him "one of the finest goalkeepers of his generation, and arguably one of the unluckiest when it came to big occasions." He was replaced by Nigel Spink, who kept a clean sheet, and later sold to Swansea in 1983.

Over in the Championship, Lincoln City are laughing off a KGB-themed lorry parked near their training ground, a nod to their relaxed atmosphere under new joint head coaches Tom Shaw and Chris Cohen. They face Middlesbrough, who've spent over £20m this summer - Lincoln have spent a quarter of that in their entire 142-year history. Good luck, lads.

Arsenal are in talks with Bayer Leverkusen over Jarell Quansah, with the asking price at least €50m (£43m). Quansah joined Leverkusen from Liverpool last summer for an initial £30m, with a buy-back clause.

Lorent Tolaj is on the move again, this time to Bristol City for £4m after scoring 18 goals in League One last season (17 for Plymouth, one for Port Vale). He also made eight assists, and his 113 shots were more than anyone else in the division. Only Dom Ballard (27) was involved in more goals than Tolaj (26) in the third tier; they'll now be teammates.

Djed Spence has had quite the summer: from a broken jaw in May to England cult hero at the World Cup, and now he's swapping being Pedro Porro's stand-in for a move to Inter Milan. Videos of him waving during medical tests suggest he's pleased. We're happy for him.

Michael Carrick has ruled out Manchester United making a £100m signing due to finances, but was effusive about Marcus Rashford, saying he's "trained really well" and "can offer us so much."

Chelsea are refreshing their inboxes after setting a 5pm deadline for City to bid for Enzo Fernández, who's lined up as a Rodri replacement - Rodri being the subject of an initial €45m bid from Barcelona. An expensive way to downgrade, some might say.

Galatasaray wanted Gabriel Martinelli, but things got complicated. Arsenal have been offered the chance to swap him for Victor Osimhen, possibly with Ethan Nwaneri thrown in for a mega swap. Tittle-tattle, indeed.

Finally, Kieran Trippier, on his surprise move to Wolves, said: "I'm not going to sit here and lie, I wasn't expecting it... There are many surprises in football and that certainly was a surprise." He cracked on, training in Mallorca with his kids.

And in football politics, the Oceania Football Confederation has declared support for Gianni Infantino following demands for the Fifa president to resign from Uefa, Concacaf, and the Asian Football Confederation. Because of course they did.